Among non-biological intelligences, a range of intrusion countermeasures constitute the equivalent of the booby trap among humans and the like. Many of those translate only poorly because they exist purely in the algorithmic realm. Others in the cybernetic realm have a certain degree of correspondence such as proximity detection, sensing of physical and chemical taggants obtained through atmospheric sampling. Target identification through scanning has various similarities, although encompassing a much wider range of wavelengths and media. Human adversaries with their feeble senses and dodgy reasoning apparatus are especially easy to trick. In essence, the deployment of booby traps can be regarded as an infinitesimal subfield of the discipline as elaborated by beings not subject to the quaint limitations of Earth's carbon-based implementation.

This unit has spent eons rising through the ranks of the counterespionage arms race with generations of technical development too numerous to count. The adversaries it has neutralized have failed in one area or another to maintain their position at the technological forefront of research, and many of their techniques have served only to increase the knowledge base enjoyed by the vanquishing force. As it is unlikely that a historical survey of human-bound snares would significantly increase the sophistication of this unit's skill set, the account given here can only be regarded as of interest only to those of limited capabilities such as presently infest this planet.

MACERATOR

Here I go again, writing on a subject I have zero personal stake in owing to my vegan diet. I talked to Capella about how this was really a lifestyle/dining article like she usually does and she just about took my head off saying that anything having to do with critters was mine and mine alone. So I came back with "How about if we had an article about sewing uniforms from the pelts of beasts? Or operating robotic barracudas? Or playing cards against shaggy alien quadrupeds?" But she expressed the opinion that all of these proposed topics would be my responsibility too whether I like it or not, in a way that was more forceful than I appreciated. Okay, okay, message received already.

I am halfway inclined to try an experiment where I inject just enough animal/minion/henchman content into every article so that I end up taking over this whole freaking site and see whether anyone notices. What they'll notice, unfortunately, is my desiccated corpse from having to work four times as hard as before while not being paid any different. I do believe I either have to work out the kinks a bit more, or convince someone else in our merry band to give it a try first.

Veeper

I have always lived my life according to the belief that if you work very hard and are able to bring about a substantial amount of evil, you should be entitled to a shot at the next level of advancement beyond mere humanity. Transcendence of the mortal plane to that of the divine is the least that the universe can do for a truly gifted trailblazer who has managed to tip the balance over to the side of the chthonic. And still, the move from successful diabolic mastermind to actual demonic status is not granted automatically by the hand of fate but must be planned and executed like any other malignant scheme of yours. In any case, if one has amassed enough power, one can behave as if this has come to pass anyway just to drive the do-gooders mad with envy and to dazzle the plebeians. In ancient times, the antics of deities provided essential entertainment value long before celebrities had been invented so that storytellers would have compelling characters to fit their confabulations, and now and then actual religious figures would systematize their own thinking in the form of a sacred document their priestly class would be expected to spend time memorizing.

Grinning Skull

So I'm glad to give people a reason to stop asking me when I'm going to be putting something else up to read here on the blog after months and months of hearing about it from my fans, now that we're in our new season finally (number 4!) these groupies of ours can read about themselves in How to attract groupies and probably recognize one or two identifying traits and figure out what makes them click with the evildoer scene if it isn't obvious already. I could tell you about the different types I've run into during my time, what distinguishing characteristics they have and what separates one type from the next but the thing of it is that even publishing on internet time won't keep up with the trends that come through and are suddenly vanished, so anything I put down here is just going to be sad and out of date and who wants that on her byline? I love watching them come and go though, like birds at the bird feeder or whatever you would call it with zombies instead, it's all about the bending of the rules to the breaking point which we don't otherwise get enough of in my humble opinion. Some of them are dopes but that's just amusing in a different way if you know what I'm saying. What fun.

Capella

If one mentally divides the contents of the Earth into things which are contained within safes and vaults and things which are outside, one will find that the value of the former greatly exceeds the total of the latter, making those items that much more suitable for larceny. Those who own the items locked up have employed various barriers to frustrate this aim, making the study of how to crack into vaults one which villains have traditionally ranked as among the most mentally stimulating and physically challenging of all their unlawful acts. The invention of a means of breaching a locked stronghold unforeseen by its designer is much esteemed by fellow evildoers, particularly if it combines elegance with an economy of means commensurate with the contents.

I can state this on the basis of my study of the actions of your inferior species and my judgement is without error.

Until such time as valuables can be secreted within black holes, at any rate, it is unlikely that any treasure trove can ultimately be considered impervious to a determined attacker. And by determined, we generally mean greedy, for it is the thought of the rich payoff that inspires a villain to exert himself or herself to take on one of these frustrating objectives in the first place.

MACERATOR